Phone without social media: How to protect your child from digital dangers

Reading time: 11 minutes

Introduction: The Day I Discovered the Hate Messages on My Daughter's Phone

I'll never forget that Tuesday night in March. My 13-year-old daughter, Emma, had been crying in her room for an hour. When I finally got her to talk, she tremblingly handed me her phone. On the screen, a series of incredibly violent Instagram messages: "You're ugly," "Nobody likes you," "You'd better disappear."

My blood boiled. My usually cheerful little girl had become the target of a group of bullies at her middle school. And it was all happening through her smartphone's social media.

That was the night I first became interested in phones without social media. And now, six months later, I can tell you that this decision literally saved my daughter's teenage years.

According to a national survey by the e-Enfance association, 20% of French middle school students have already been victims of cyberbullying, primarily via social media. 20%! That's one in five children. These figures make my blood run cold.

Summary:

• What's a phone without social media?
• The Dangers of Social Media for Children and Teens
• How does a phone without social media protect your child?
• Testimonies from families who chose protection
• Practical guide: choosing and using a phone without social networks
• The positive impact on child development
• Alternatives and complementary solutions
• Phone without social networks: an investment in security
• Conclusion: Protecting your child from social media means giving them a peaceful future.

What's a phone without social media?

Definition and operating principle

A phone without social media is a mobile that allows all essential communication functions—calls, texts, sometimes basic internet—but cannot access social platforms like Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, Facebook, or Twitter.

Concretely, there are several approaches:

• Phones that are physically unable to install apps: Like ThePhone, which simply doesn't have an operating system that allows you to download apps.
• Smartphones with strict parental controls: Where social media is blocked by parental control settings.
• Phones with limited internet: These allow access to certain websites but not social networks.

What Your Child Can Do With a Phone Without Social Media

• Call you in case of emergency or need
• Send and receive text messages with family and close friends
• Take pictures of your important moments
• Use basic functions (alarm, calculator, flashlight)
• Sometimes surf the internet for homework (depending on the model)
• Listen to locally stored music

What he can't do (and that's a good thing!)

• Access Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, Facebook
• Receiving anonymous harassing messages
• Being exposed to inappropriate content
• Spending hours scrolling through endless feeds
• Undergoing social pressure from "likes" and comments
• Being geolocated by strangers

The Dangers of Social Media for Children and Adolescents

Cyberbullying: A terrifying reality

Since Emma's experience, I've been digging deeper into the topic of cyberbullying. And frankly, what I discovered sent shivers down my spine.

According to a UNICEF survey of 170,000 young people in 30 countries, 1 in 3 young people report having been victims of cyberbullying.

This alarming figure shows that cyberbullying is a global phenomenon, massively affecting adolescents, with serious consequences for their psychological well-being and academic success.

Source: UNICEF - One in three young people

Dr. Catherine Blaya, a specialist in bullying, explains: "Cyberbullying is particularly destructive because it follows the child everywhere, even at home. With a phone without social media, we cut off this constant intrusion."

The constant presence of social networks amplifies the suffering of victims, who no longer find refuge, even at home.

Source: https://shs.cairn.info/revue-le-journal-des-psychologues-2020-10-page-38?lang=fr

Exposure to inappropriate content

Social media algorithms don't differentiate between ages. Your 12-year-old may be exposed to:

• Violent or pornographic content
• Dangerous challenges (like TikTok's "Blackout Challenge")
• Extremist propaganda
• Glorified eating disorders (pro-ana, pro-mia)
• Incentives to self-harm

A study conducted by the University of Oxford shows that early exposure to violent, sexual, or dangerous behavior-inducing content increases the risk of mental health problems in adolescence by 70%.

Algorithms fail to protect the youngest, exposing children to content that can seriously harm their mental health .

Source: https://www.oii.ox.ac.uk/research/projects/internet-filtering-and-childrens-exposure-to-harmful-content/

Digital addiction and dependency

Social media is designed to be addictive. Notifications, likes, and comments trigger dopamine production, creating a vicious cycle of gratification.

Emma told me: "Before, I would check Instagram every 5 minutes. I had this constant anxiety of missing out. Now, with my phone free of social media, I feel free from that pressure."

According to INSERM, 15% of adolescents show signs of social media addiction, characterized by anxiety about disconnecting and compulsive searching for notifications.

The reward mechanisms of social networks (likes, notifications) act on the brain like a drug, creating a real addiction.

Source: https://presse.inserm.fr/canal-detox/des-ecrans-malfaisants-vraiment/

The impact on self-esteem and body image

Social media creates a constant pressure to compare. Your child compares their "normal" life to the "perfect" moments shared by others, creating frustration and insecurities.

Research from the American Academy of Pediatrics reveals that 50% of teenage girls develop body complexes related to their use of social media.

Pressure for perfection and constant comparison lead to frustration, loss of confidence and body image issues in young people, especially girls .

How a Social Media-Free Phone Protects Your Child

Protection against cyberbullying

This is the most obvious and important benefit. Without access to social media, your child cannot:

• Receiving harassing messages via Instagram, Snapchat or TikTok
• Being banned from WhatsApp or Messenger groups
• Seeing humiliating photos or videos shared on social media
• Receiving nasty comments on your posts

Emma says: " Since I got my phone without social media, I no longer get that knot in my stomach when I look at my phone. I know I won't come across nasty messages. "

Privacy Policy

Social media collects a huge amount of personal data about our children: location, contacts, habits, interests. This information can be used for commercial or malicious purposes.

According to the CNIL, 89% of social networking applications collect more data than necessary for their operation.

A phone without social media preserves your child's digital privacy and drastically limits the collection of their personal data.

Developing a Healthy Relationship with Technology

Without the constant stimulation of social media, your child learns to use technology as a tool, not as a source of constant entertainment.

Sophie, mother of 14-year-old Léo, says: " Since he got his phone without social media, Léo has been using it intentionally. He calls me, texts his grandparents, takes photos of his outings. But he no longer spends hours scrolling aimlessly. "

Protection from online predators

Social media is unfortunately a hunting ground for sexual predators. According to the Point de Contact association, 67% of reports of child pornography come from social media.

A phone without social media eliminates this risk by removing contact channels with malicious strangers.

Testimonies from families who chose protection

Martin Family: "Our daughter has regained her self-confidence"

" Camille, 12, had become very anxious because of Instagram. She spent her time comparing her photos to those of influencers, thought she was ugly, and didn't want to go out anymore. Since she got her phone without social media, she has rediscovered her joy of life. She plays sports, sees her friends in real life, and above all, she smiles again. " - Nathalie Martin

Testimony of a teenager: Maxime, 15 years old

" My parents gave me a phone without social media after I was harassed on Instagram by guys from my high school. At first, I was angry. But now I realize it saved me. I don't have this constant pressure anymore, I sleep better, and my real friends, I see them in real life. "

The opinion of a school psychologist: Dr. Anne Durand

" As a middle school psychologist, I regularly see children destroyed by cyberbullying. Phones without social media are an effective preventative solution. Students who have them have fewer anxiety disorders and sleep problems. "

Practical guide: choosing and using a phone without social networks

The different options available

Option 1: Basic phone without app capabilities

Benefits :

• Total protection
• Simplicity
• Affordable price

Disadvantages:

• Limited features
• Design sometimes dated

Option 2: Smartphone with strict parental controls

Benefits :

• Extended Features
• Possibility of evolution

Disadvantages:

• Risk of circumvention
• Complex configuration

Option 3: Modern Minimalist Phone

Like ThePhone:

• Modern design
• Essential features
• Guaranteed protection

Benefits :

• Aesthetics accepted by teenagers
• Effective protection
• Simplicity

Important selection criteria

Safety:

Make sure social media is actually inaccessible, not just hidden.

Child acceptance:

A phone that's too "old-fashioned" may be rejected. Choose a modern design.

Communication features:

Make sure your child can reach you easily if needed.

Sustainability:

Children aren't always delicate. Choose a durable model.

The cost:

Phone plans without social media are generally cheaper than regular smartphone plans.

How to Introduce Change to Your Child

1. Explain the security reasons

Don't frame this as punishment, but as protection. " I want to protect you from the nasty things you see on social media. "

2. Highlight the benefits

" You'll be able to focus on your passions, sleep better, and have more time for your real-life friends. "

3. Offer alternatives

" You will still be able to use the family computer to watch videos or chat with your friends, but in a controlled manner. "

4. Set a trial period

" We'll try it for three months and then we'll take stock together. "

Children's Objections (and How to Respond)

“ All my friends have Instagram, I’m going to be banned! ”

Answer: " Your real friends like you for who you are, not for your Instagram posts. And you'll always be able to see them in real life, which is even better! "

Testimonial: Emma told me, " Actually, my real friends have gotten it. And we see each other more often now than before, when we were all on our phones. "

" How am I going to do group homework? "

Answer: " You can use the family computer for research and email communication. And it will teach you to be better organized! "

“ I’m going to be bored without TikTok and YouTube! ”

Answer: " You'll rediscover lots of activities you'd forgotten about: reading, drawing, sports, music. Boredom is the beginning of creativity! "

The positive impact on child development

Improved concentration and academic performance

Without the constant interruptions of social media notifications, your child can focus on their homework and learning.

A study from the University of California shows that students without access to social media during study hours improve their grades by an average of 14%.

Development of empathy and social relationships

Paradoxically, a phone without social media improves social relationships. Without a screen to hide behind, children develop better face-to-face communication skills.

Improved sleep

Social media is particularly disruptive to sleep: blue light, emotional stimulation, FOMO (Fear of Missing Out).

The National Sleep Institute confirms that adolescents without social media sleep an average of 1.5 hours more per night.

The INSV explains that using social media before bed exposes teenagers to the blue light from screens, which delays sleep by inhibiting melatonin production. In addition, emotional stimulation and the fear of missing out (FOMO) keep the brain on alert, making it difficult to fall asleep and less restful.

Social media disrupts young people's biological rhythms, increases anxiety and reduces sleep quality.

Source: https://institut-sommeil-vigilance.org/

Strengthening self-esteem

Without the constant comparison with others on social media, your child develops a more stable self-esteem, based on their own accomplishments rather than external validation.

Alternatives and complementary solutions

Digital education in parallel

A phone without social media doesn't exempt you from educating your child about the dangers of digital technology. Use this time to explain:

• The mechanisms of cyberbullying
• The Importance of Online Privacy
• Social media manipulation techniques
• Signs of digital addiction
• Supervised use at home

You can allow access to social networks on the family computer, under supervision, so that your child is not completely cut off from his or her group of friends.

Preparation for future use

Around the age of 16-17, when your child has developed digital maturity, you can consider a gradual transition to a smartphone with social networks, while maintaining certain protections.

Phone without social networks: an investment in security

The cost of inaction

Failure to protect your child from the dangers of social media can have dramatic consequences:

• Psychological disorders requiring therapeutic monitoring
• School dropout and its consequences for the future
• Sleep and eating disorders
• In extreme cases, suicide attempts

According to INSERM, the social cost of cyberbullying is estimated at 1.2 billion euros per year in France.

Investing in a protective phone

Given these risks, investing in a phone without social media is a minimal cost. ThePhone offers solutions starting at €99, with plans starting at €9.90 per month.

This is the price of peace of mind and protection for your child.

Conclusion: protecting your child means giving them a peaceful future

Six months after equipping Emma with a social media-free phone, I can say it was one of the best decisions we've made as parents.

Emma has regained her zest for life, her self-confidence, and her restful sleep. She's taken up the piano again, joined her school's drama club, and most importantly, she's smiling again. Harassing messages are a thing of the past.

A phone without social media isn't a retrograde solution; it's a forward-thinking choice. It recognizes that our children need protection to grow up peacefully in a sometimes hostile digital world.

Of course, this choice requires courage. Sometimes you have to face your child's protests, explain things to other parents, and stand firm in the face of social pressure. But when you see the result—a fulfilled, protected child, free to develop their personality without the toxic pressures of social media—you realize it was worth it.

Because ultimately, our role as parents is to protect our children. And in today's digital world, that protection sometimes means a phone without social media.